Today

Today is one of those JACK AND COKE DAYS. People at work are annoying the FUCK out of me. Although that makes me wonder how did FUCK get in me. Shit now I'm scared cuz FUCK has left me. I hope I don't need FUCK to survive. If I do then I'm hosed. So, here's to pushing up daisies.

Oh Goody

Here we go again. Round 2 for the year.

For Terra T

Well I better write something cuz Terra is threatening me and that is one woman that I would not want to piss off. So, let's see what to chat about. Well I started working out two weeks ago. Yes, the four fisted bandito is trying to lose his gut. Actually, what I am trying to do is push everything from around the mid section to the upper half of my body. I am even taking supplements. I almost killed one of my co-workers the other day when she asked if I wanted a cookie and I said "No, I am on a diet." She almost fell over. It is funny in my building cuz most everyone here is a registered nurse or has an MD and they are all overweight. I mean not a few pounds, I'm talking running to the end of the hall would just about do them in and some couldn't even do that. So, to hear me say that I was dieting and already in pretty good shape was a little much for her to hear.

So, let's see a status report on my progress. I have lost and inch and half off of the gut and added 4-5 lbs. My energy level is through the roof. I do think that my abs are going to start a protest rally due to the 500 situps/crunches a day. And why not, in the Bay Area everyone protests. It is nice though to actually be getting away from work for my lunch hours to workout, helps that we have a gym onsite. I am really watching what I eat. Lots of protein and less fatty foods. It's not strict or anything cuz I still have my beers. Hopefully, by May I can reach my goal of 200 lbs and a semi washboard gut. I think I am close.

Bit Torrents

I love this torrents stuff. BRILLIANT! F the Tivo. I now find myself watching less tv and saving cash. How? BitTorrents. Love it. All I have to do is go to the site locate the show I want and download it. BRILLIANT! Piece of cake. I don't have to pay for Tivo service and I don't have to pay for movie channels. Fantastic. No commercials no nothing. Save the shows to my external drive and I can now share them. Let's c Tivo do that. When tv shows like 24 come out on dvd I now don't have to by it. Why? Cuz I already have it. BRILLIANT! Oh yeah I love GUINESS as well. Last night before I even started watching 24 I was already downloading it. How kewl is that.

Too F'ing Funny

I just had someone come up to me at work and ask for a lighter. My first thought was, "Do I look like a smoker?". So, I looked in my desk and pulled out a pack of matches and asked if these were ok. The person asking gave me the biggest frown. I was like, "They are for a birthday cake they have a similar flame to a lighter what's wrong." The person then says, which I almost fell over, "I haven't used matches in about 10 years and I'm not sure how." Holy crap. I actually had to do a show and tell on how to use them. What is this world coming to that people don't know how to use matches. Shit as a guy I think I came out of the womb knowing how. It's almost a right of passage to be a guy.

Joke of the Day

Who said Mexicans can't think quickly.

Three men, one German, one Japanese and a Chicano were sitting naked in a sauna. Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped. The others looked at him questioningly. That was my pager" he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm.". A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand.". The Chicano felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone, he decided he had to do something just as "impressive". So he stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him oddly. The Chicano finally said.........., " Valgame Dios, will you look at that? I'm getting a fax.."

Back from Lost Wages

Ok I got back yesterday, but I was taking a nappy nap for most of the day. So, I am writing today. Deal with it.

So, let's see Friday morning....get off plane in Vegas 10am
pickup luggage 10:20am
contact friends that got there an hour earlier 10:23am
meet friends in airport bar 10:28am
leave airport for rental car 1:00pm (notice time in between bar and car) yeah started birthday off right with 2-large beers and 1 12oz beer
"Friends, how many of us have them. Ones you can depend on." Well I know I do cuz they treated me right.

After checking into the hotel at around 2:00pm it ws straight to the tables for more drinks. Had around 6-7 more beers and a couple of jack/cokes over the next few hours and then went to dinner. Cool little 50's dinner in the Startosphere. Food was good entertainment was just as good. Each server and bus person had to sing/dance the requested songs. Also, this big black buser kept trying to flirt with me. Thought that was funny so I played along. Left there and went back to the tables for some pai gow and bj. Drank around 13-16 cape Cods. Went to bed around 4:30am.

Got up at 6:20am went to softball fields and played 3 games. Back to the hotel around 6:30pm went to the bar to grab a couple of beers then went to take a shower. Took a quick nappy nap then went down for some buffet. Sucked ass. So, I had to recover from awefull dinner with beer and COCKTAILS. Played on the table s fo ra bit then went into a club that was in our hotel. Drank more beers and shots. They were suppose to have a guys best chest contest and a wet tshirt contest fo rthe chicks. Don't remember them havng the girls, but I laughed my ass off at the guys. The dude who won was freakin' funnier then hell. the whole bar was laughing and cheering. Drank some more. Took a shot between some chicks legs. Liked that. Ended up in bed again at 4:30am.

Got up at 6:30 am played ball till noon then went back to collapse on the bed. After about 4 hours we headed down to Fremont street for some more drinks and fun. F'd around there for a while then headed to the hotel to pack and get some sleep for the flight out Monday morning.

All in all a pretty successful weekend.

How Horrible is My Life

So, yesterday I got a call from one of my softball buddies asking and I quote, " Wanna getaway." I wasn't sure if I wanted to or not then he said it was for a tournament in Vegas this weekend. So, I said "Hell yeah." Tha was the good part. Here is where the shiat happens.

Last night I booked my airline and rental car, didn't need hotel room. After leaving my parentals pad last night, with kids and wife in tow, my trucks transmission started to slip. It just wasn't shifting correctly and at a couple of points wouldn't get out of first gear. I was pissed, but figured it maybe due to me not warming it up or something. So, this morning I was heading out of the house to drop off my lil' one and then head to work when it happend again. Last night wasn't too bad cuz it was 11:30, but this morning was on the expressway in morning traffic. I was driving down the expressway at 30 miles an hour with my truck red lining just trying to get to the next turnoff. After being told I was #1 by a few drivers I pretty much walked the truck to the day care. From there I walked the truck again to the transmission shop. Luckily, both of those places were not to far.

I then had to call the wife, dreaded doing, to have her pick me up so I could drop her and my other daughter off. Then after driving to work, in my wife's car, her car starts to act up. What the hell is going on here? Do my cars know that I just got my work bonus or something? Did the mechanics find out an sabatoge my cars? And why the hell does this have to happen the morning after I buy my Vegas tickets? Oh the humanity. I think it is time for my daily "FUKITOL" pill.